Religious Trauma Recovery: Why I Am Not Mad at God Anymore

Standing in front of the First Southern Baptist Church in Buena Vista, CO, where my grandfather once preached, my husband and I reflect on the journey of healing from religious trauma.

“What stood out most was Heather’s ability to connect with exactly what my soul needed. It wasn’t just energy work—it was a spiritual realignment.”

Religious trauma recovery isn’t about leaving faith behind—it’s about healing fear-based teachings and reclaiming a safe, loving connection with God. In this article, Heather Headley shares her journey from childhood confusion and anger toward religion to finding peace, freedom, and a full-circle return to God’s love.

My Journey Through Religious Trauma Recovery

This is a picture of a church my grandfather once preached at in Buena Vista, CO. By the time I visited in 2021, it had been converted into a bed and breakfast. At first, I didn’t understand why I needed to stop there. But looking back, I see it now as a pilgrimage of sorts—an important step in my religious trauma recovery.

My childhood was spiritually divided. My father, one of the most altruistic people I’ve ever known, was an atheist. My mother was a devoted Christian. I adored them both. Yet the church consistently told me that unless I “saved” my father, he would go to hell—and I would be eternally separated from him.

As a child, this burden created enormous anxiety. I loved the community of the church, the music, the acts of service. But alongside those gifts came guilt, pressure, and fear. It was the beginning of my journey with religious trauma.

What Religious Trauma Recovery Really Means

For years, I carried anger—not just at the church, but at God. I couldn’t reconcile how a loving God would condemn my father, a man who embodied service and kindness, to eternal suffering.

Over time, though, I realized something crucial: it wasn’t God who created this fear. It was humans, interpreting and enforcing teachings through the lens of fear, control, and judgment.

Religious trauma recovery, for me, has meant untangling human distortion from divine truth. It has meant remembering that God is not punishment—God is love. God is not fear—God is peace.

“Heather’s calming presence created a safe space for me to release emotions I didn’t even know I was carrying. I left the session lighter and more connected to myself.”

Returning to God Without Fear

For years, I used the word “spirit” because it felt safer. But my full-circle healing has been realizing that what I was really yearning for was God Himself—without the fear, without the shame.

Religious trauma recovery brought me back to God with new eyes. Now, I see Him not as a judge waiting to condemn, but as a loving presence who has been with me all along. I have daily conversations with Him and with His angels. I feel His peace in ways I never could when fear clouded my faith.

I’m not mad at God anymore. I’m grateful I finally know Him.

A Message for Others on This Path

If you’re struggling with religious trauma, know this: you don’t have to abandon God to heal. You can separate fear-based teachings from the truth of His love. You can reclaim your connection with Him—free of judgment, full of peace.

This is the foundation of my work as a holistic coach. Whether through coaching, Reiki, or intuitive sessions, I help clients find their way back to balance, clarity, and, often, their own renewed connection to God.

Because religious trauma recovery isn’t about losing faith—it’s about finding God again, without fear.

“If you’re navigating your own religious trauma recovery and seeking support, my holistic coaching and Reiki sessions offer a safe space for healing.”

Google. (n.d.). Oxford Languages. Google search. Retrieved December 18, 2022, from https://www.google.com/search?q=what%2Bis%2Breligion%3F&rlz=1C5CHFA_enUS1016US1017&oq=what%2Bis%2Breligion%3F%2B&aqs=chrome..69i57j0i20i263i512j0i512l8.5295j1j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8